The Moving Experience
September 4, 2008 – 10:17 amMoving Sucks Part 1
Okay, if the title isn’t obvious enough, then you should probably just click previous page now. And if you have a problem with my opinions, well you’re just gonna have to deal with that on your own time.
For those who don’t know, I recently moved out of my previous home and into a new one. It was my mom’s place and I did rent out the basement. Key word: RENT. Not like the other fools out there who never get away from their parents till age 40, I actually had a good paying job and could help with the bills. Rather I decided to stick around or not was answered before I had to face it, but I was going to be out of there before this year was done. This is my first official home that I bought with my own money, meaning my name is on the damn deed. The old place was starting to get run down, the basement always flooded, and the nursing home across the street was buying up all the property on the street. So it was time for a change anyway, and I made a hell of a change, those who have seen it know first hand. I love the new digs. So here’s the parts where everything else has totally sucked.
Home shopping. This is typically the rough part. Let’s start outside the actual target home: Where are we going to live, how good are the schools and neighborhood, how much time will it take to get to work now, yada yada yada. Okay, I’ll save you a whole lot of trouble on that stuff, IGNORE IT. The only thing you should worry about AT ALL is the home and property you’re looking at buying. Fuck the rest. It just shouldn’t have any impact on your decision. Unfortunately in this day and age, the powers that be have invented something called property value, and apparently everything away from the potential target home will directly affect its price. Somehow I don’t think that’s the case when you have a mansion in the middle of Rejectville. It isn’t your fault if the area is filled with poor idiots that piss away all their money on gambling and booze. The idea that the surrounding area should directly affect a home’s price is fucking stupid. What are you trying to buy, the home, or the view of a water fountain across the street? It’s overrated. Might as well just build a small shack with a bed and a window if that’s the draw of the home. Why these luxury homes are built in such convenient spots still amazes me. I doubt the original builders planned it that way, unless there was a lot of money flying around the area. I can hear the sounds of realtors talking that up and the suckers buying into it.
“And here we see a great view of the fountain across the street. You won’t find a better view anywhere, and it’s perfect all year long!”
Here’s the part that the seller’s omit: The thirty car crashes when the water main supplying the fountain bursts all over the road during the winter. Let’s break down that math: Ice + Rubberneck= Brand new car-sized door with an even clearer view of the fountain. You won’t even have to wait all year for the wall to be knocked out. Yeah, probably not a good selling point.
On the flipside, yeah I probably wouldn’t want to live next to a junkyard or a meat packing plant either. And ever notice that the homes built around there are either incredibly old, or so run down that cockroaches evacuate? And usually there’s some old hillbilly living in the area with a shotgun fully armed at all times. Yeah, I’m sure some random punk is gonna break in and steal his 30 year old, 10 inch black and white. This would be the same type of guy who doesn’t have to live next to the junkyard to accumulate a huge pile of scrap metal, the 20 cars he’s owned over the years supply enough of it.
Now on to the actual search. Ah yes, this nightmare. So glad I didn’t have to deal with this one very long. I actually took the first one I looked at, being as it’s difficult to shop for homes when you work 6-6 at night. But said look still took awhile considering it wasn’t what we HAD been looking for at the time. And people have to be picky about things on this, but sometimes it just gets out of hand. You probably won’t want a cheaper fixer-uper, but sometimes that’s all that’s in your budget. But some of the previously owned places that have been “repaired” ain’t much better. I mean, one layer of fresh paint and a hammer isn’t going to cure what is STILL a water leak in the warped ceiling. I have also discovered that “add-ons” aren’t always a good sign of a home’s development, nor progress. Take for example, the unfinished basement I just got out of. The floor was higher in the newer room then in the other…but since it wasn’t part of the original foundation, it flooded first. It wasn’t level either, that’s obvious enough when water collects mostly in the middle. And having the sump pump in the highest part of the room didn’t help either. My favorite is still the outlets though. The more conveniently placed ones didn’t work, and none were grounded. Boy that made me feel good about sticking my computer and electronic equipment down there. And it’s not just the basement, you gotta check every little fuckin detail from the time it was built and through the years. It sucks to find out the hard way that your attic hasn’t been reinsulated in say…oh ten years before you just got there. Oh by the way, when’s the last time the furnace was checked out…ding! Replace.
New homes rule. You may have some kinks to work out initially, but you know that everything is brand new with pretty much no history to taint it. And if it doesn’t work, free replacement – most of the time.
Now then, being a realtor must really suck. Sometimes you get lucky and have that first look who is perfectly happy and buys immediately. And then there’s those who look at fifty homes and aren’t happy with anything and it’s suddenly your fault for taking them there. Then printing off all that paperwork. I’ll be honest, it sucked bad enough to sign it all, must really be a bear to conjure it all up. And they do this for a living, PASS!
That’s all for this part of my moving experience, stay tuned for more.
